Postponed

Ok so I know that most people who read this will have already known that court was postponed because I posted it on Facebook, but just blogging about it, keeping everyone updated. We went in there and When they first called our names it was just my lawyer, me and his lawyer. He was there, but for some reason didn't come into the room? Not sure why, but ok whatever. So then the judge preceeds to tell us that there are like 4 other cases besides ours so they can only allow 30 min for each case! Ok come on really, because I'm pretty sure that most of them will take longer than that. So we had to decide to come back on another day. We go tomorrow (Wednesday) and I'm hoping there are no other mishaps, and we'll get it over. It's at 9 am, and I'm glad to not have to wait all day for it to come, but worried because if the outcome isn't good, I have to go to work right afterwards, and I don't know how I'll be. I know I'll be super upset, becasue I just really won't understand the reasoning if it's not granted. I mean since I'm giving him all of summer and including that at any time he can arrange, at his own expense, to come and see her, I can't imagine a judge not seeing that I'm willing to make his "relationship" as best as it can be with the circumstances. Ok....*sigh* Here we go again....

God you hear me? I need you...

It's getting close...

So i have two more days until I walk into a court room to find out what the near future holds for me. I'm excited, nervous, scared, but at times feel at peace with it all. I know I've done all I can to be prepared for this and to prove that this is something my family "needs." I just hope this judge can see that, and grant the move. I've met with my lawyer twice already in the past week, talked about how things will go down. I'm meeting with him on Thursday to have a pretend mini "trial," and then at 1:30 on Friday starts the fun! I know we don't have an issue when it comes to proving that I am the better parent. I have numerous things for evidence to prove that, and at first I was thinking that's all I would need really, and then come on give the girl what she wants. BUT the more I think of it, that's not why we're there, we're there to prove that being in a different state is for the better of Juliana. I think we have enough to show that it is, and I have no idea how his lawyer is going to come at me, but I honestly can not think of anything that Josh or his lawyer would be able to prove that it isn't better for her. Ok I need to stop thinking about it! Totally be praying hard for me on that day though....whoever may read this by then, which I'm thinking will be no one....I have but one follower, but I tried. I've given it to God, it's in his hands, and all I can do is be honest and willing to let him show me his path for me and my family!

I'm over the baby belly...

Ugh... I'm so over being prego. I'm thinking if it wouldn't have been so soon after having Bredun maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this, but right now I'm wanting her out more than anything. Anyone know what I can do to NOT think of the negative? I'm trying to keep myself busy doing little "tasks" here and tehre. I've painted the crib, rearranged our bedroom for the crib to fit, made a baby blanket for a friend, cleaned out most of our house, cleaned, gotten rid of old clothes of Juliana and Breduns, Juliana goes to gymnastics now, but I can't stop thinking of how uncomfortable I am!!! Ok I'm having a moment, and this is me venting to one person.....that's right MM YOU! Because you're the only one that I have that comments....I have no followers. :(

Ugh....I'm over it.

Delay....again

So the court date has gotten pushed back.....again. It's ok though because at least it's only a week later and it's because of the judges scheduling and not anything with lawyer mumbo jumbo. Apparently the first push back was because the judge was on vacation, now it's because she has a trial training thing. So as of right now it is October 23, and we are as ready as can be. I've gotten a lot of "evidence" I think will be good for us to use against him i.e. pictures of some of the clothes he's brought her back in that are 18-24 months....she's 4! I'm leaving it in God's hands. He knows our hearts and where we want to be and if its in his plans then we will be there. Otherwise we'll go the path he has planned for us and maybe the future will be a different story. Keep us in your prayers!

Staying focused is harder than you think...

So we have an official court date of October 16 to determine whether we will be able to move or not. I'm done crossing my fingers, holding my breath, and stressing out about what will happen.....ok maybe a little stress, but I'm working on that. It's been rough, but it's come down to what I already knew from the beginning, but neglected; turning it ALL over to God. He has a plan, he has my life already in order, and it's not for me to try to figure out, which I know I do a lot more than I should. It's hard to not think of the "what if's," but Taurus and I, and our family, have to be ok with what and where God has placed us in life. Who know's what can happen, so instead of stressing to much I have to leave it all to him.
When I came to this realization, I had said it before " Ohhh God has it in his hands," but it was like I was just saying the words with no meaning. I guess I wasn't really feeling what I was saying. I feel bad for all of a sudden realizing how wrong I was to not trust him so much until now....the end. When I do that I always ask my self is God going to think it's too late? Will he say "oh nope I'm not helping you because you should have come to me sooner." No he doesn't so I have to get that out of my head. When the DEVIL is putting those thoughts in my head he's pushing me away from God and what truely can come out of my life. God doesn't have a time clock of when he wants you to come to him. You can do it anyday, anytime, in anyway. Taurus has started to be more dedicated to God and is reading his bible every night. Listening to the good gospel music, and just getting in the spirit more. Trying to stay focused on what or should I say who will open all doors for me. It's hard because there's been so much stress and frustration through this whole process, and holding back my nasty words and biting my tounge is hard!! I can do it.....WE can do it. I have to give all my fears to God....he's in control.