Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Staying focused is harder than you think...

So we have an official court date of October 16 to determine whether we will be able to move or not. I'm done crossing my fingers, holding my breath, and stressing out about what will happen.....ok maybe a little stress, but I'm working on that. It's been rough, but it's come down to what I already knew from the beginning, but neglected; turning it ALL over to God. He has a plan, he has my life already in order, and it's not for me to try to figure out, which I know I do a lot more than I should. It's hard to not think of the "what if's," but Taurus and I, and our family, have to be ok with what and where God has placed us in life. Who know's what can happen, so instead of stressing to much I have to leave it all to him.
When I came to this realization, I had said it before " Ohhh God has it in his hands," but it was like I was just saying the words with no meaning. I guess I wasn't really feeling what I was saying. I feel bad for all of a sudden realizing how wrong I was to not trust him so much until now....the end. When I do that I always ask my self is God going to think it's too late? Will he say "oh nope I'm not helping you because you should have come to me sooner." No he doesn't so I have to get that out of my head. When the DEVIL is putting those thoughts in my head he's pushing me away from God and what truely can come out of my life. God doesn't have a time clock of when he wants you to come to him. You can do it anyday, anytime, in anyway. Taurus has started to be more dedicated to God and is reading his bible every night. Listening to the good gospel music, and just getting in the spirit more. Trying to stay focused on what or should I say who will open all doors for me. It's hard because there's been so much stress and frustration through this whole process, and holding back my nasty words and biting my tounge is hard!! I can do it.....WE can do it. I have to give all my fears to God....he's in control.

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